Sunday, December 28, 2008
They're so intense looking!
Bowling time! Beautiful form if I do say so myself... :)
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas Day!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
I’m brought back to a letter my brother recently wrote me, an excerpt of which said “You know,
This I know- come Monday, I’ll be boarding another plane and heading back to
Some highlights so far...
* The Ice Storm of 2008
* Hosting a festive shindig for a few friends at 1313, complete with homemade sweaters, tasty Christmas tunes, decorating cupcakes, playing a previously unheardof boardgame, updates on everyone's lives and lots of hugs and laughter
* Going out on the town with my "Friday Friend", Mel :)
* 7 hour road trip with Laura to see Jodi get hitched!
more memories to come...........
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Back in Dub Town...
It’s
It is somewhat surreal sitting here at my former kitchen island eating what used to be my regular breakfast, looking around at the place I used to call home. Jodi’s presence is gone, as well as her stellar coffeemaker. I made a mess this morning with the sad little Emerson that has taken its place. My room is obviously not my own anymore. Laura has taken up residence and has chosen a fresh new palette of her own. I definitely experienced déjà vu while getting ready in my old bathroom this morning, flashbacks to beautifying myself in months past for significant people and places.
I smile at all the little things that have not changed…like the location of the silverware and coffee cups in the kitchen, the familiar placement of the kettle on the stove and the pepper and olive oil standing by on the counter. The general layout of the living area, the big blue couch that has miraculously sunken even lower, and familiar Christmas decorations that are strategically placed throughout the home to create that cozy, festive feel. I smiled when I saw several bottles of my vitamins and diet supplements in a mix of other supplements by the toaster- I must’ve forgotten to pack them in my hurry, I thought, as I tossed them in the trashcan.
Such a treat it is to have a laid back morning. This morning in of itself has made the plane ticket worth it. Relaxing hours that allow for not only proper digestion, but much needed reflection. I know not what today holds. I have to put my love of schedule aside this week and take each day as it comes. It’s hard to plan ahead with not knowing who wants to see me and what everyone’s schedule is. But I am not stressing. I look forward to all the little moments, and I will savor each one.
Monday, December 8, 2008
I finished my first annual Christmas letter and will be sending it out soon. I put a creative spin on the typical Christmas letter format. You'll see...
Last night was my first night in my new house. I finished house sitting yesterday and then Sam and I enjoyed our first night together as roomies, celebrating with pizza and a movie. I can't believe I hadn't seen The Gridiron Gang yet. It made me miss working for Lifeline...and made me think of some of the young men and women I had the pleasure of working with there over the years. I'm so glad the majority of my girls are keeping in touch.
This morning our home group had breakfast together at the Martin's ranch. It was fun to spend some time chatting over yummy whole wheat pancakes, sausage and eggs...all products of their farm, even down to the fresh milk. mooooo...
Cora opens her first Christmas present! :)
Monday, December 1, 2008
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2012420&l=27cec&id=151600127
I've been enjoying this last housesitting gig. The dogs are fun, although I'm currently not speaking to them. You see, tonight Mom sent me home two delicious homemade muffins. I was starving (okay SLIGHT exaggeration) after a long days work and good eating choices so I was super excited to have one of them as my evening treat. So I pop it in the microwave and leave it cooling for a sec on the counter while I rush to change into my pjs. I come back and notice a chewed, slightly soggy napkin on the floor. Thats weird, I think...there's child safety locks on the cabinets- how did the dogs get into the trash? Then I saw the counter. No muffin. I was dumbfounded and speechless. As I stood there with my jaw hanging, Lily made a beeline to her kennel and Hoover scampered out of the kitchen. Those little stinkers....
I did Karaoke this past week for the first time. So fun! My favorite tune of the night was definitely Hey Big Spender. I love the vampy feel-so great! It's hard to think of songs on the spot, though. Yvette and I started a list in her purse so we'll be prepared next time. :)
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was good- smaller than usual, but good. I've spent the last 6 Thanksgivings in Michigan with the other side of the family, so it was different but nice to be here again with the Alaska clan and Dad's side.
So much to be thankful for this holiday season...
-----
Quote of the week:
"I'm locking myself in the bathroom. Not cuz I have to pee, but because there is serious moose activity outside and the dogs are going bananas!" -Bethany to Karyn
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I heard good news today! Good news in form of a cabin available for rent at an incredibly ridiculously steal-of-a-deal price. Even with such reasonable rates, I wouldn't be able to swing it, but a girl from church just happens to be needing a new place as of December first and if we split the cost...ding ding ding!!!! Insert Hallelujah chorus and falling confetti as I stand still and astonished and slightly skeptical that this could all be truly happening. But it seems legit. And I sense the Lord smiling. My cup runneth over.
When I came home tonight all the stars were out. I felt so close to you, Lord. I couldn't help but contrast this night and this feeling of being romanced by you to to the cold, dark, starless night a mere few days ago when I felt so alone. I felt you reminding me that even when I can't see them, the stars are always there. Even when I don't feel your presence and can't see what is around the bend, you are still there, still in control, and you still love me. Thank you for the reminder. You are so good. Bless this night, my sleep, my workout in a few hours...my clients tomorrow, my day and all the interactions it will hold. Thank you so much for the renewed confidence and enjoyment I've had lately at work, and the new clients who have been such a joy to meet and with whom I'm excited to start working with. Thank you for this home group. I thank you in advance for how you are going to work in and through us as we grow more and more into your image.
I love you,
Bethany
Psalm 8:3-4
3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
Monday, November 17, 2008
the subtle ache within
...
I'm kinda quiet today. I'm trying to stretch out this evening. It will be my last night in my personally decorated, furnished, own space. Tomorrow I box up dishes, paintings, photographs, candles, movies, curtains, bedding...all the little things that have made this apartment my own...and transition into yet another chapter of my life.
Kinda ironic. I'm watching A lot Like Love on TV, and it just came to that scene near the end where he loses everything career-wise and moves back home with his parents. Well at least I have a career :)
I'm okay with it- really I am. I'm blessed to have this option. And house sitting jobs will provide nice breaks on occasion. I'm just in a slight funk today, and it can't be contributed to any one thing. May be partially that I'm grieving the close of this chapter of independence. A part of it may be that I feel bad for the sacrifices my family is making so that I can have a place to sleep. But if I were to really be still and allow myself to be honest, I think I can pinpoint the main funk source. I'm pondering a portion of a conversation I had with a couple from church last night. They were asking if I had met anyone special here...and that evolved into a discussion about how, although this is a great place to raise a family, it's a terribly hard place to meet people. That thought has stuck with me and it makes me a bit sad in my heart. The couple mentioned an amazing woman they know up here who is around 40 now and the wife said she's concerned this woman will never meet anyone and so she wants to encourage her to get out of Alaska. When I hear things like that, I think "Oh no, did I make the wrong move in making this move up here???" I can't help but fast-forward time and wonder if I'll be that woman. Is it horrible that I don't want to be? There's something very real inside of me that desires to be loved by a good man and be able to have the opportunity to make a relationship work and have a family. I know that there is more to life than those things, but I'd be lying if I said I did not desire them.
I talk to people up here I haven't seen in forever and they mention how successful I am and how I have met goals. Okay, yes, that may be true. I don't necessarily feel that way though- definitely not like I have "arrived". Maybe I just personally don't value material success and money and career as much as the average Joe... When they ask me my plans, I laugh and say I just wanna marry and have lots of babies- that this is all just a plan B. I don't think they understand or realize the truth in my statement.
They tell me there's someone out there and it'll happen when it's supposed to happen. I think statements like that are more meant to make people feel better than they are actually true. I mean, how can you know? I'm sure that amazing 40 year old woman was told that too...but she's still alone.
Friday, November 14, 2008
It is well...with my soul
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
highlights
Brita's Farewell: Brita left last week to embark on yet another global adventure. Her destinations this trip include several days in Minnesota then a few months experiencing India, by way of Italy where she has to stop at first to build a house for her mom. She'll come back to us for a brief visit in February, and then probably will head to LA. Such a free spirit, that girl. Sometimes I envy her lifestyle. I enjoyed spending time with her the last several weeks. If I were to pick some key words to summarize our last few days together, they would include: boxed wine,hottubbing, postsecret, model magic, vinyl, alaska dinners, billiards, and mexican cuisine. good times, good times. For visual commentary on the previously listed keywords, you can check out my facebook or myspace.
Double Dividend Qualifier: (The final drawing was this past Saturday. I did not win the cash, but experienced a different victory when I turned down the free food they had there for all us qualifiers. You see, I started a new eating program/bible study last week - Becoming a Woman of Moderation and it was my fasting day. I've been enjoying the study so far, because the focus is not on food- its designed to help promote a dependence and focus on God. I've learned a lot already in this first week, and have appreciated the journey towards becoming more disciplined. I want to be a woman of moderation in all areas except in my relationship with Christ.
Discovering I only have 1 month to live...independently.I've poured over my finances the last several weeks. I was actually under budget last month, which is exciting- its like it becomes a game to see how I can cut corners,save money, and come out in the black. I have been learning a lot from this Financial Peace course and would recommend it to anyone. However, after looking at my impending loan payments, I have realized that I can no longer afford a rent payment while paying my monthly minimum on my loans. So, this
means I am moving home at the end of November. Initially the prospect of moving back home caused an internal temper tantrum within me (no! NO! I won't go!!! You can't make me!), but I've come to accept this and am okay with it. I realize I am blessed to have family that are willing to have me move back in. There will be sacrifices, to be sure, but I will be able to save money and start putting a dent into my school debt. And when I consider the alternative...selling my body and sleeping in my car... mom's cozy house looks like an AMAZING choice. :) But hey, if any one you know of a single, Jesus-loving, Sugar Daddy...I'd jump at that too! ;)
Starry Skies: The last several days it has been clear and cold. When I come home in the evening, I am blown away by the beauty of the star filled sky. It brings verses like Isaiah 40:25-31 to mind and I am reminded of God's love for me and his promise to provide. I'm thankful for all these reminders of His goodness.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
White Lion Concert
ENTER VIDEO CLIPS HERE:::
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
chilly and weary, insecure moments of doubt
I'm so tired. It's nights like tonight that I guess I'm glad that I can come home and go through the rest of the evening without mustering energy for a smile in someone's direction or opening my mouth to speak a word to a fellow human being. But perhaps now that I think about it, were the situation different and I was to come home to someone who was happy to see me, that in itself would be such a comforting thing and something I would look forward to and be grateful for. But since the latter scenario is not my current reality, I will choose to be grateful for the solitude tonight.
my toes are cold. I resurrected this bright multicolored pair of fuzzy socks that I think were part of a college care package received years ago. I love these socks. Thanks, Mom.
Money stresses me out. I just came home from my weekly Financial Peace University class. Is it possible to feel at peace and feel nauseated simultaneously? Because as I sat in that class and pondered my impending school loans and my current inability to make those minimum payments, I felt like hurling onto my workbook.
Lord, I need direction on this one.
In the back of my mind I keep thinking "I could always move back home" but then Webbie's lyrics run through my mind and the independent woman in me recoils from that idea. I love my family, don't get me wrong. It would just be so different, and would feel like I'm going back in time. Plus, it's going to take me years to pay off these loans, and it just doesn't seem right for a driven head-on-her-shoulders woman with a Masters degree to live with her parents well into her thirties. Visit, yes, of course...often! But live with?
Lord, if this is really your will, please make it crystal clear. But I have to be honest, it would be hard for me. And I might ask you to take that cup away before I accept and drink from it.
But I want to be debt-free, I do.
I know I should look at my budget again and redo some numbers, but I think I just need to sit for a while, enjoy the candle I lit and maybe some tea, this "Cure for the Winter Blues" mix I temporarily stole and copied from Hannah's collection before I left, and just breathe.
My feet are warmer now. I'm thankful for this little blessing, and smile at the thought that the Creator of the Universe cares for the temperature of my little toes. How much more will he provide for my other needs if I continue to trust and obey? :)
Sunday, October 12, 2008
blessed day of rest
Even though I thought I'd be doing my Super Nanny thing starting today, I found myself abundantly grateful for how this day unraveled. Thank you, Abba. You always know best.
There's something about hand washing dishes that is so relaxing to me. With snow falling softly outside, candles lit, Shawn McDonald's voice singing from the living room, the way the hot water feels on my hands...plus that feeling of accomplishment and renewal that comes with my weekly housekeeping, I can turn a dreaded chore into a form of self-care.
Did I mention it's snowing? I still can't believe it...
P.S. I realized the other day I can stay home alone all day and be perfectly content. Perhaps this gal isn't as much of an extrovert as we once thought... :)
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Recall :(
Yeah. Such was my disappointment yesterday when my perfect 2nd job (live-in nanny 2 weeks on/2 weeks off) fell through last minute. The family and I did everything we needed to do- filled out all the paperwork, got my background checks, met with the Childcare Assistance rep to figure out rates and percentages the tribe would pay and the parent would pay, he gave me a house key, I met the kiddos...only to find out 2 DAYS before he has to leave for the slope that I can't be the childcare provider because I'm already an employee of the tribe and labor laws apply (would be ridiculous amounts of overtime).
needless to say, I was totally bummed. and I feel so bad for this single dad who is just trying to do the right thing, and none of this was his fault. or mine.
I have to keep trusting that this is happening for a reason.
It's just hard, cuz I have been taking steps of obedience in doing this financial class and making sacrifices and being a good steward and praying about how I'm going to make these debt payments, and it seemed this was the answer. Everything fell into place, only to be taken away.
Sigh.
He wants me to remember He is in Control and He is my Provider and He is able to do immeasurably more than anything I could ask or imagine. He will provide.
I'll try my best to trust in the meantime...and keep my eyes open for other opportunities for extra income.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
exciting news
Can anyone guess what this side job is going to be? Here's a little clue... :)
Monday, October 6, 2008
bust out the sweaters...it's that time of year!
I bought a hardcore windshield scrapper/brush thing for my vehicle. It was a little overdue, cuz my windows have been frosting for a few nights now...and this morning the temperature reading in my rig alternated between "33" degrees and "ice." And then today...the first dusting of snow.
I still catch my breath sometimes at the beauty outside. The other day I came home after a long day and there was something about the crisp autumn air that caused me to pause on the sidewalk and head around to the backyard. I'm glad I did, because this awaited me...
Taught the Pre-K Sunday School class this morning. Boy did that bring back memories...same classroom, same Group curriculum, same Sonshine Park the kids love to play in, yet a whole new bunch of kids. It is strange not knowing the kids names anymore- I used to know everyone, and everyone knew me. But a lot has changed over the years.
I spent the entire afternoon and evening working on my finances- not so fun. I think I sat at my parent's dining room table for at least 5 hours, maybe 6. By the time I left, my brain was fried, but I had completed my first real budget, complete with cash flow plan, allocated spending plan, and an organized new envelope system. Money has been a big stressor for me over the years, but hopefully financial freedom is just around the river bend. (yay Disney reference) Although taking a close look at everything today combined with the looming reality of school loan payments was somewhat depressing, scary, and frustrating, I feel more in control over the situation than I did before. If you spend your money on paper first, You can have control of your money instead of it controlling you.
So now I'm home, and too exhausted to type much longer. I have my incense burning, one lamp on, horrid florescent lights OFF, a cup of water in the microwave and a tea bag waiting... Time to curl up with a blanket and catch up with the women on Wisteria Lane. Then spend some quality time with my glorious queen sleigh bed upstairs. With the money I spent shipping that beloved possession across the country, I better get good use out of it! ;)
Good night.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Bethany v. Bosu
This Bosu ball definitely tried to have its way with me this morning. I tried a new class at the gym this morning. Here's the description: "Chisel- Like the name says= a great way to help chisel those hidden muscles! We use a variety of equipment & exercises to help your muscles get a great workout!" Well, as I definitely have "muscles" still hidden under layers of yet-to-be-shed body fat, I thought this would be a fun class to try. I loved using lots of different equipment- medicine balls, regular balls, bar bells, hand weights, step, and the Bosu Ball. I had never used a Bosu ball before, and underestimated it's cantankerous nature. During our cardio section at the onset of our class, Ashley had us doing different stepping and jumping things with this ball and I don't know what happened...but I catapulted through the air and landed on the floor. crack went the ankle, BAM went Bethany. But you know what they say... when the horse bucks you off, get right back on. So I did. Take THAT, Bosu!!
... multiple hours later...
Turns out the Bosu won. I went on to finish the Chisel class and in classic Bethany fashion minimized the itsy bitsy pain I did feel. Went on with my errand filled day and accomplished much including: laundry, dishes, some financial stuff, a bank run, visited my friend Travis at the school he was substitute teaching at, and scrap-booked 4 more pages of my extremely belated Ireland scrapbook project (that particular trip was in March 2005). Brita then called me up with a hankering to socialize, and I suggested Frolf. So I met a bunch of peeps down at the golf course and we had a blast. I failed to think about, however, the effect that being on my feet all day and then walking on uneven forest terrain for a couple hours would have on my previously wrenched ankle. The effect is an even more ouchy, increasingly swollen ankle. Damn that Bosu.
Brita's first toss was a doozy...she had to climb over the wall to go into the ball field and fetch it!
some of the crew...
Sam merry preparing to toss. He's a champion and came up with some creative little tips that helped me lots...
Brita, Shakina, & baby Darius
Headed towards the next tee...
Sam wouldn't stop making fun of me for taking a picture of this stump. I thought it was pretty...
Darius
Michael, now that's a new look. Digging the moss mustache...looks real!
the boys chatting it up between holes...
the aftermath.
R.I.C.E.