A friend mentioned to me the other day that he is not happy in the city he is living and is weighing whether or not to move. I can empathize with his instinct to move closer to where he had good friends and a support group. I’ve thought similar things, and am revisiting those thoughts even today as I reconnect with some friends here in Indiana. I’ve realized that the people and relationships I have here (in Indiana) make me feel at home, but yet Alaska in of itself makes me feel at home, if that makes sense. If only I could have both in one place….but as that is not yet a reality, I find myself longing for what my current surroundings lack. The whole grass is greener syndrome, I suppose, which I always claimed would never plague me, being the eternal positive optimist that I am. Forgive my redundancy…

I’m brought back to a letter my brother recently wrote me, an excerpt of which said “You know, Bethany, I don't know if the likes of you and I will ever reach "it". We are dreamers. There will always be another thing for us ahead. I am in Paris, the penultimate of all I've ever wanted in a place, and I still am not content. There's somewhere else. There's something else. There's someone else.” Maybe he’s right. Something in his words rings true, but yet, dreamer or no, I want to learn to be content no matter what my current situation. Or at least be motivated enough to push through the longings for somewhere/something/someone else to the practical work of focusing on fostering and improving the present. Easier said than done...

This I know- come Monday, I’ll be boarding another plane and heading back to Alaska. I have been reminded this weekend of everything in this place that makes me feel so alive, and it seems almost a tease to have to leave it behind so quickly. However, I can choose to take what I’ve learned about myself in this place and pack it with me as I go to the old/new place I now call “home”. I can put my energy into identifying people in Alaska that call out the same parts of my soul that I need to be alive. I can be purposeful in pursuing community, realizing and accepting it will look different than the intimacy I’ve experienced in other settings. And I can continue to foster the relationships I built in Indiana, and save money for additional reunion weekends...

BUT it is NOT yet Monday....so my present agenda remains the same as it has been since I stepped off the plane in Fort Wayne Wednesday night... to savor every moment I have in this place. And by golly, I will! :)

Some highlights so far...

* The Ice Storm of 2008


* Hosting a festive shindig for a few friends at 1313, complete with homemade sweaters, tasty Christmas tunes, decorating cupcakes, playing a previously unheardof boardgame, updates on everyone's lives and lots of hugs and laughter




* Going out on the town with my "Friday Friend", Mel :)


* 7 hour road trip with Laura to see Jodi get hitched!



more memories to come...........