highlights

I've done it again...neglected my blog. When this happens, I am faced with a dilemma. do I fill you in on all the happenings of my life and risk overwhelming myself and my readers with way too long of a blog? Or do I merely give tasty tidbits of what has occured since we last chatted? Today, for the sake of time and me not wanting to upload a gazillion pictures, I am going for the latter.

Brita's Farewell: Brita left last week to embark on yet another global adventure. Her destinations this trip include several days in Minnesota then a few months experiencing India, by way of Italy where she has to stop at first to build a house for her mom. She'll come back to us for a brief visit in February, and then probably will head to LA. Such a free spirit, that girl. Sometimes I envy her lifestyle. I enjoyed spending time with her the last several weeks. If I were to pick some key words to summarize our last few days together, they would include: boxed wine,hottubbing, postsecret, model magic, vinyl, alaska dinners, billiards, and mexican cuisine. good times, good times. For visual commentary on the previously listed keywords, you can check out my facebook or myspace.

Double Dividend Qualifier: (The final drawing was this past Saturday. I did not win the cash, but experienced a different victory when I turned down the free food they had there for all us qualifiers. You see, I started a new eating program/bible study last week - Becoming a Woman of Moderation and it was my fasting day. I've been enjoying the study so far, because the focus is not on food- its designed to help promote a dependence and focus on God. I've learned a lot already in this first week, and have appreciated the journey towards becoming more disciplined. I want to be a woman of moderation in all areas except in my relationship with Christ.

Discovering I only have 1 month to live...independently.I've poured over my finances the last several weeks. I was actually under budget last month, which is exciting- its like it becomes a game to see how I can cut corners,save money, and come out in the black. I have been learning a lot from this Financial Peace course and would recommend it to anyone. However, after looking at my impending loan payments, I have realized that I can no longer afford a rent payment while paying my monthly minimum on my loans. So, this
means I am moving home at the end of November. Initially the prospect of moving back home caused an internal temper tantrum within me (no! NO! I won't go!!! You can't make me!), but I've come to accept this and am okay with it. I realize I am blessed to have family that are willing to have me move back in. There will be sacrifices, to be sure, but I will be able to save money and start putting a dent into my school debt. And when I consider the alternative...selling my body and sleeping in my car... mom's cozy house looks like an AMAZING choice. :) But hey, if any one you know of a single, Jesus-loving, Sugar Daddy...I'd jump at that too! ;)

Starry Skies: The last several days it has been clear and cold. When I come home in the evening, I am blown away by the beauty of the star filled sky. It brings verses like Isaiah 40:25-31 to mind and I am reminded of God's love for me and his promise to provide. I'm thankful for all these reminders of His goodness.

White Lion Concert

Last night was a blast... I went with some of my awesome coworkers to see White Lion in concert at Hooligans. Yes, White Lion...remember them? Oh the eighties... :) They're back, rocking the world with their newest album The Return of the Pride. If you ever get a chance to catch a concert, I recommend it- they put on a great show. Good times were had by all. Yvette created her first signature drink based off her favorite coffee drink (Go to her bar and ask for a "Yvette" the next time you're at Hooligans...). We chilled with the band after the concert, hit up Sals for the traditional post-bar breakfast, and then headed back to Hooligans Lodge for the night. (Thanks Yvette for getting us a sweet deal on the room!) Here's just a sample of the countless pictures I took over the course of the evening (check out myspace for the rest).






ENTER VIDEO CLIPS HERE:::

yes, we're easily amused :)

chilly and weary, insecure moments of doubt

I'm so tired. It's nights like tonight that I guess I'm glad that I can come home and go through the rest of the evening without mustering energy for a smile in someone's direction or opening my mouth to speak a word to a fellow human being. But perhaps now that I think about it, were the situation different and I was to come home to someone who was happy to see me, that in itself would be such a comforting thing and something I would look forward to and be grateful for. But since the latter scenario is not my current reality, I will choose to be grateful for the solitude tonight.

my toes are cold. I resurrected this bright multicolored pair of fuzzy socks that I think were part of a college care package received years ago. I love these socks. Thanks, Mom.

Money stresses me out. I just came home from my weekly Financial Peace University class. Is it possible to feel at peace and feel nauseated simultaneously? Because as I sat in that class and pondered my impending school loans and my current inability to make those minimum payments, I felt like hurling onto my workbook.

Lord, I need direction on this one.

In the back of my mind I keep thinking "I could always move back home" but then Webbie's lyrics run through my mind and the independent woman in me recoils from that idea. I love my family, don't get me wrong. It would just be so different, and would feel like I'm going back in time. Plus, it's going to take me years to pay off these loans, and it just doesn't seem right for a driven head-on-her-shoulders woman with a Masters degree to live with her parents well into her thirties. Visit, yes, of course...often! But live with?

Lord, if this is really your will, please make it crystal clear. But I have to be honest, it would be hard for me. And I might ask you to take that cup away before I accept and drink from it.

But I want to be debt-free, I do.

I know I should look at my budget again and redo some numbers, but I think I just need to sit for a while, enjoy the candle I lit and maybe some tea, this "Cure for the Winter Blues" mix I temporarily stole and copied from Hannah's collection before I left, and just breathe.

My feet are warmer now. I'm thankful for this little blessing, and smile at the thought that the Creator of the Universe cares for the temperature of my little toes. How much more will he provide for my other needs if I continue to trust and obey? :)

blessed day of rest

i love Sunday afternoons.

Even though I thought I'd be doing my Super Nanny thing starting today, I found myself abundantly grateful for how this day unraveled. Thank you, Abba. You always know best.

There's something about hand washing dishes that is so relaxing to me. With snow falling softly outside, candles lit, Shawn McDonald's voice singing from the living room, the way the hot water feels on my hands...plus that feeling of accomplishment and renewal that comes with my weekly housekeeping, I can turn a dreaded chore into a form of self-care.

Did I mention it's snowing? I still can't believe it...

P.S. I realized the other day I can stay home alone all day and be perfectly content. Perhaps this gal isn't as much of an extrovert as we once thought... :)

Recall :(

Have you ever gotten the perfect gift only to have it taken away?

Yeah. Such was my disappointment yesterday when my perfect 2nd job (live-in nanny 2 weeks on/2 weeks off) fell through last minute. The family and I did everything we needed to do- filled out all the paperwork, got my background checks, met with the Childcare Assistance rep to figure out rates and percentages the tribe would pay and the parent would pay, he gave me a house key, I met the kiddos...only to find out 2 DAYS before he has to leave for the slope that I can't be the childcare provider because I'm already an employee of the tribe and labor laws apply (would be ridiculous amounts of overtime).

needless to say, I was totally bummed. and I feel so bad for this single dad who is just trying to do the right thing, and none of this was his fault. or mine.

I have to keep trusting that this is happening for a reason.

It's just hard, cuz I have been taking steps of obedience in doing this financial class and making sacrifices and being a good steward and praying about how I'm going to make these debt payments, and it seemed this was the answer. Everything fell into place, only to be taken away.

Sigh.

He wants me to remember He is in Control and He is my Provider and He is able to do immeasurably more than anything I could ask or imagine. He will provide.

I'll try my best to trust in the meantime...and keep my eyes open for other opportunities for extra income.

exciting news

I was hesitant to mention this until I knew for sure, but its official now. I have a second job. This opportunity presented itself about a week ago, and just as I was praying about how I was going to make my school loan payments. God continues to provide for me!

Can anyone guess what this side job is going to be? Here's a little clue... :)

bust out the sweaters...it's that time of year!

The boiler at work picked a cold week to go on strike. With temps dipping down into the 30's, it sure made for chilly days in the office. Thankfully someone gave me a tip about this space heater in the storage room. That combined with cocoa, scarves, and blankets did the trick!

I bought a hardcore windshield scrapper/brush thing for my vehicle. It was a little overdue, cuz my windows have been frosting for a few nights now...and this morning the temperature reading in my rig alternated between "33" degrees and "ice." And then today...the first dusting of snow.


I still catch my breath sometimes at the beauty outside. The other day I came home after a long day and there was something about the crisp autumn air that caused me to pause on the sidewalk and head around to the backyard. I'm glad I did, because this awaited me...

Jodi,

I just gotta say, your Be Still mix is still my favorite way to decompress at the end of a long day.

Thank you...and please hug the other Warsawian women I so dearly miss.

Bethany

I feel like an old lady, I'm getting exhausted so early in the evening these days... Last night I was invited to join the Adam's Family for games and couldn't stop yawning during Phase 10. I left their house before 9pm I'm sure, but was too tired to make the drive back north, so I ended up crashing at my parent's house (conveniently located just down the street). Yay for mom's keeping spare toothbrushes on hand.

Taught the Pre-K Sunday School class this morning. Boy did that bring back memories...same classroom, same Group curriculum, same Sonshine Park the kids love to play in, yet a whole new bunch of kids. It is strange not knowing the kids names anymore- I used to know everyone, and everyone knew me. But a lot has changed over the years.

I spent the entire afternoon and evening working on my finances- not so fun. I think I sat at my parent's dining room table for at least 5 hours, maybe 6. By the time I left, my brain was fried, but I had completed my first real budget, complete with cash flow plan, allocated spending plan, and an organized new envelope system. Money has been a big stressor for me over the years, but hopefully financial freedom is just around the river bend. (yay Disney reference) Although taking a close look at everything today combined with the looming reality of school loan payments was somewhat depressing, scary, and frustrating, I feel more in control over the situation than I did before. If you spend your money on paper first, You can have control of your money instead of it controlling you.

So now I'm home, and too exhausted to type much longer. I have my incense burning, one lamp on, horrid florescent lights OFF, a cup of water in the microwave and a tea bag waiting... Time to curl up with a blanket and catch up with the women on Wisteria Lane. Then spend some quality time with my glorious queen sleigh bed upstairs. With the money I spent shipping that beloved possession across the country, I better get good use out of it! ;)

Good night.