Random Tidbits, Heartbeat Drum, and Talking Circles

My coworker ran into NBA player Carl Malone at Fred Meyers last night. She had also seen him in Homer (or was it Seward?) earlier in the week and he had gone out that night with a couple of her friends. Malone loves hunting and fishing and has had a vacation cabin for years up here in Alaska.

My friend Michelle texted me from up in Denali where she is working this summer. The text message was to inform me it was snowing up there. In August?? Mt. McKinley creates its own weather, though, so I'm not worrying. I'm still holding out for more sun, perhaps an Indian Summer??? Wouldn't that be glorious.... :)







A few weeks ago I joined a drum group at Nakenu. Drumming is a big part of the Native American culture, and I wanted to experience it first hand. Every Tuesday evening there is a Heartbeat Sobriety Drum practice. This drum was made by an elder in the Kenaitze tribe with the purpose of being a sobriety drum. It was so neat to be able to participate with the other women who showed up last Tuesday. To start off, our leader passed a pouch of tobacco that we each took from and sprinkled on the drum. Different people put it on the drum in different ways, symbolizing different things to them. One of the women opened in prayer and then we did a opening song and continued drumming, taking requests that next hour. I come from a very musical background and have good rhythm, so I was able to catch on quickly. I drummed along with the group and joined in singing in the Native tongue after the first verse or so. There are different rules to the drumming, signs that the leader uses to signal whether to speed up or if the song is ending, signals to indicate he or she is about to drum a different rhythm and not to follow him or her, a hand gesture to open it up to the group for solos, a finger laid on the drum meant you were accepting the next solo.,, We closed with a specific closing song and in prayer and were done.


Today I participated in my first "talking circle." This is a traditional method of communication among Native Americans, and very therapeutic. Our staff at Nakenu schedules a "talking circle" once a month for two hours. Everyone sits in a circle and there is a opening and closing of some sort- today we read a daily elder meditation, and then passed the talking feather around and whoever was holding it had the floor and could share what was on their mind. The topic of today's talking circle was "Purpose." I shared my overall purpose of being called to love God and love people. And I shared how more specifically about how I feel during this chapter I'm being called to slow down, to be okay with being still, to be purposeful about spending quiet time with my Savior, and to not get caught up in my idol of busyness. I also shared how I feel called to explore what self-care looks like for me and to implement it in my life, so I am then better equipped to better serve others. For those of you who are interested, here is some more background on "talking circles." Our Tribal Court program implements them with youth and the tribe has also started doing talking circles in the Head Start program so kids become used to the format, practice listening and expressing their thoughts/feelings appropriately. Such vital skills to learn so young! I am so thankful for a workplace where coworkers (for the most part) are authentic and supportive and we have opportunities to be vulnerable in a group format. What an honor...especially to have the freedom to talk about my relationship with Christ!

THE ART OF COMMUNICATION

Communication in Native American culture is quite different than the "usual" American competitive-style communication. Their style values cooperation over competition, which reflects in many areas of their lifestyles. When many Native Americans engage in conversation they listen intently, usually looking down and not establishing eye contact, until the person speaking is completely finished talking. Then the other person talks and fully expects to be able to completely finish their thought without interruption or before the conversation turns to another person.

WHAT IS LEFT UNSAID?

In some Native American cultures there is a ritual called, "what is left unsaid" and it is practiced in various ways. In one instance, the group gathers in a circle and uses what is called a "talking feather." Whoever has the feather is the one that states what has been on their mind but hasn't been said. When they are finished talking, the feather is handed to the next person in a clockwise direction and the next person says what they have left unsaid. This is called a "Talking Circle."

RULES OF THE TALKING CIRCLE

1. The person holding the "talking feather" or some other Native American object is the only who has the right to talk. Even if it takes several minutes to think about what they wish to say or if there is a pause in the conversation. Whoever has the "talking feather" has the floor.

2. If someone in the circle wishes to express a view or comment on what is being said, it is limited to noises that can be made through the nose. This would be a faint grunt of agreement. Any comments, especially negative comments while someone is speaking are absolutely not allowed. In fact, they are banned. Each person MUST wait his or her turn.

3. When the "talking feather" comes to you, you may talk about "whatever is in your heart or on your mind." There may be an overall topic that the Talking Circle is discussing but you are in no way limited to discussing or commenting on anything anyone has said. A talking circle is not limited in topic content. You are free to say whatever you desire, without limitation or fear. Talking circles are safe environments and you should feel comfortable knowing that no one will interrupt or criticize you.

4. If someone talks longer than what seems customary (this is called "overlong") then those in the circle may quietly cough as a signal. The term "overlong" is usually defined according to the size of the circle, topic, and how long the group intends on spending in the circle. This may be discussed before the circle begins. Typically, 3 -10 minutes is a sufficient amount of time to talk. If you have the "talking feather" and notice that others are quietly coughing, it's time to pass the feather to the next person.

   Using an alarm or timer is inappropriate for a Talking Circle because it would disrupt the flow of communication and energy. It would also create an unnatural presence to the circle.

5. The circle can go around several times or until everybody has had at least one opportunity to talk. If the group is large, time constraints may be placed beforehand, although remembering that interruptions are not allowed. The "talking feather" can be passed around once again to give everyone the feeling that they have left nothing unsaid.
   

   COMMIT TO THE CIRCLE

   When committing to a talking circle, remember the rules and watch the healing begin. It is purgative, relaxing and cleansing. The affect of sharpened listening and learning from others is truly a blessing. You will also become more adept at thinking while on your feet because your communication skills will be more exercised.

   Talking circles are amazing. Go ahead and try this practice even between you and a friend.